August 29, 2019

All the drama was tiring. All the pain, all the judgement, all the hate. It has been occupying its space in my head for a long time now. I have been absorbing all the negativities that I knew people are saying. I have been focusing on the bad instead of the good. I have been losing myself, my perseverance, and my confidence. Maybe it’s because I am constantly isolating myself from other people. When people say nice things about me, I don’t know how to react. It’s like I don’t want them to recognize my presence because I always feel like I am not good enough. Like if I am in a room full of fun, intelligent, and beautiful people, I’m out. I have been dimming my own light. The social anxiety, the panic attacks — they are my mortal enemies. And they always win.